so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
