What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
