it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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