is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
