There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
