Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
