Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
