My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
