Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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