I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
