I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
