Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so let's talk penis.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
