i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
