We should be called the Road Head Warriors
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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