So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
