Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he shaved USA in his pubs
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
