Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
