Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
