I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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