The brown eye won't let me do that either.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
