people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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