how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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