hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
