It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
