And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
