I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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