Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
