Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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