i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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