its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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