chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
