You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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