I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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