the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
