everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
