ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
