i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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