my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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