ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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