On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
