im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
