We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
