I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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