the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I still have a little drunk in my system
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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