i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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