One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
