Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
