We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
