So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
