I feel like I'm in dance class right now
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
