Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
